Quotes of My Perspective

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Part 2

Part 1: click here 

Revealing it all… Part 2


     After to good bill of health, I inquired about aborting the pregnancy. I had never been pregnant before and never thought I would be in that position.  The thought of having sharp tools inserted in though my vagina, all the way up into my uterus to cut out and remove the life that was connected inside my body was horrific. It was even more horrific than the thought of delivering the baby at term. The doctor presented me with a second option that was very new at the time. Far less invasive, were ‘abortion/ miscarriage’ pills. Something that induces a natural miscarriage. However, not only was this an extremely new drug, but it was also only effective in the first trimester. I was 2 days into my second. It was Friday evening and the clinic was closing within a couple hours. I had to decide immediately. Waiting till Monday would mean that I would only be left with 1 choice for termination. 

            There was no guarantee the pills would work, and the doctor advised against it. Nevertheless, being a profit-orientated business at the end of the day, I opted for the $1000 pills. All I needed was $1000 in 1 hour. Revealing the situation to my parents was not an option at all. My mother had nothing to do with my sexual well-being. The only other option I had was to contact my best friend since 2 years old, Tommy. As always, Tommy came to my rescue and got me the pills. He had to replace the money before Monday, but that was secondary to the pregnancy problem.

            I had to take the pills right away, as ever minute that I waited meant that they would be less and less effective. Having the baby was never an option. Even without all the drugs I had been using, I would have never considered going forward with the pregnancy. However, every April 9th, I cant help but wonder what it would have been like.

            After I took the pills was the only time I had thought about the reality of the situation. That it was done and there was no turning back… over the next 72hours, life would end within me. I tried to call Aaron, but as always, he avoided me call. He was never there when it mattered, only when he needed to use me for something.
I wanted to be alone over the weekend. It wasn’t before long before the cramping started. I had no doubt lthat the pills would work. I remember sitting in the empty bath tub as the blood went down the drain. Never has I seen so much blood. After a few hours the bleeding slowed enough to be absorbed by a tampon and a precautionary panty liner.  The pregnancy left me a little hormonally unbalanced,  numb, and resentful towards my boyfriend.